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“I’m actually neither,” I replied with a wry grin. ‘She’s upstairs, passed out, and I’m just trying to decide whether to dump her or not.�...� I paused. “If I’m perfectly honest.”I knocked back the rest of the drink and placed the empty glass on the bar.“Do you want another muff licker?” she grinned.“Well, if you’re offering,” I smiled as I rested my elbow on the counter and put my chin in my hand, looking up at her.Her eyes sparkled as she placed another drink on the bar counter.“I’m locking up. "That's a good little girl!Put Candy's sneakers back on her feet if her toenails are dry, will youAlison?"After an embarrassing lunch with the girls where they constantly teasedme, Aunt June announced that it was a beautiful day. She ordered me togo outside and play. I knew she wanted to further embarrass me bymaking me parade around dressed as a pre-teen girl. I stuttered that Ididn't want to go anywhere dressed like this, but she insisted I gooutside - or else she would paddle my naughty. "I think we have a problem." What makes you say that and what kind of a problem?" Steve, our next door neighbor, discovered me sunbathing on the deck today and he would not stop watching." Since when do you care if a man sees your body?" This is different, I enjoy it if I invite them but I didn't invite this, he just started watching on his own. He came out on his deck today to do something and saw me lying out on our deck and he would not stop watching, he even brought a chair and sat on the. Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"The guy replies, "I'm Jack, retired airline pilot from Houston."Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom." The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.Next, it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Father Bob, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years."Saint.
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