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" That's right, four hundred people on it. That one's probably going to London." London? Like where my mum came from? How long will it take to get the...e?" It'll get there about when you wake up tomorrow."Sarah looked at Eddie with disbelief. Everything he'd told her so far had been true, but that was just impossible to believe. It had taken her mother eight months, and this aeroplane thing could do it in less than a day?"It'll get there at dawn tomorrow?" No, actually, it will be evening today. ”In most cases, that would be a perfectly legitimate argument. He adopted me as an infant and took care of me even after my mother died, so my safety has always been of primary concern to him. Where that story fell apart was that he actually entered the booth looking for my ‘services’.“Right, well how come you came into the booth then?” His face turned bright red as I asked that, and I could tell he was growing increasingly uncomfortable. “Don’t worry, dad, I’m not mad! I just want to. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:1. The DNA all matches.2. There are no dental records.A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks,. ”“Together?” Chad asked. “Is that really the word you want to use right now?”“What is that supposed to mean?”“Are you telling me other guys have had naked pictures of you this whole time?”“It’s not like that—”“Really? Because I’ve never seen these pictures in my life,” he said. “Yet apparently other guys have?”“This is revenge porn,” I said. “I fucking guarantee it. I told Johan to go pound sand, so this is how he gets back at me.”Chad crossed his arms. “So when he called the other.
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