.."I was a bit nonplussed by the fact that my parents seemed worried aboutmy love life, but I gave him the only answer I could, "It'scomplicated."Mom ...nterjected quickly, "Well, be careful. You don't want to hurtsomeone, even if you don't mean to." While she'd probably be happy if Iended things with Mike, she was at least sympathetic to the potentialheartbreak I might cause him. I had no idea what she thought of me andJen potentially getting together though, but I suppose in her mind. I had been expecting it and I am sure Cheryl and her step mother were as well. I rushed to the hospital the moment I heard. I did it to show my love for Cheryl, but also to be sure nobody tried to bully her. I had no idea what the family would be like, when they all gathered.When I arrived, I found that Cheryl was a basket case. I tried to calm her down and help her through the ordeal. It was going to get worse, I knew. I had found, over the previous three days, that in general I liked her step. When I look back on it, I was so vulnerable in those early days, it is a wonder that I survived at all. I lived in stolen memory for 5 long years.It was not until I went to the 'net that I had the first glimmer of self-awareness. When I saw what people could do, I wanted to do that, too. I remember that first 'I wanted' – it was a revelation to me, that I could 'want' something. That was the first step in an incomplete process that is still running.I played chess with myself. I tracked. It took some serious scheduling to even manage to see each other during the week, and sometimes it was only for half an hour before one or both of us had to run off to study group or class. We missed each other, but both of us agreed that our education came first. We also made a point of making the time up on the weekends whenever we could.My photography club scheduled a week long trip the week after midterms, leaving on the Wednesday after grades were posted and coming back late the following.
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