And when he was done there, I'd want to fuck him, oh I'd help that little fucker decide whether or not he was gay. I pictured him in a multitude of po...itions, all fours, flat on his stomach, standing on his knees with his palms on the headboard of my bed, oh god I it was fucked up.And suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I could see his silhouette and the self-satisfied smirk on his face. “Whatchya doin' Uncle Jake?” He said tauntingly, his fingers digging into. I wondered why when I was tested, they explained I would be examined again on the way out and I was thinking it was in case I smuggled something out!!!' Oh hunny you make me so hot and I think the nurse too, my cunt is throbbing for you with or without a rubber, come on get one on and ride me quickly please,' I insisted.'Oh yes Maam,' he eagerly said and with that opened the cupboard where the officer had put fresh condoms, which had been tested.He dropped his pants stepped from them only. My mind's attemptto pretend I had decided to wear tights and panties. My male ego tryingto pretend I was in control or on top rather than underneath.That day when I got home Dorothy had put me into a matching white silkbra. I had felt I had reached a line in the sand, a point of no returnand wanted to cling desperately to my male Christian heterosexualidentity. I had said enough was enough and I wanted her to take her braoff me.Dorothy refused saying to wait a moment and she would make it. There is no time when you're dead. Only now, forever...Another flash of memory.My mother, weeping at the kitchen sink, was holding a sheaf of medical papers in her hand. She stared at the papers as if they were a palpable enemy that she could rend, tear, or kill. Her tears were hard and angry – but soft, and almost helpless. Hindsight cleared up so much, and I now know the anguish she felt as the sterile, white forms pronounced her death sentence.For millennia I lingered in the valley of death..
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