We found out that I was escalating…her word, not mine…anyway, escalating my drinking and promiscuity so Mark would find out and stop me. That was ...o self-destructive and so demeaning at the same time, I can’t believe it. Not only that, I knew darn well that one of Mark’s companies was a large-scale investigative agency. I was going to be caught one day, no matter what I did. Being stupid about it just hurried it along. We haven’t found out yet why I picked that path to stopping myself from the. Once there we sat on the edge of the bed and as I slowly ran my hand over her leg, back and around her neck, I could see Amber getting a little more tense, so I suggested she lay back down on the bed to help ease her mind. When she did I moved next to her side and squatting on my knees, I slowly caressed her hair as I tried to ease her mind a little. "Are you comfortable?" I asked her and she said she was a little "Do you like me caressing your hair?" I then asked and once again she said yes. I. Afterwards I packed up our gear. And found myself alone as I started looking for Jen or Kevin I found them by the beach talking. The body language was very comfortable. I walked up and announced everything was packed up Kevin said great lets paddle back, However Jen shot me a look of death. The whole paddle back was an emotional roller-coaster for me I was not sure if I saw what I saw heard what I heard or if I should say something to my wife My mind kept on replaying the sight of her hand. ’ I could tell by the look on his face that he desperately wanted to ask a question but he didn’t. He was waiting for me to speak. It was hurting me so much to see him so concerned. I was causing him pain over something I had done. I steeled myself for the next sentence as I took in a deep breath, held it for a moment, and spoke. The words came out in a rush as I spoke too fast to let myself start crying and not be able to finish. ‘I know all about Camp Kisatchie. All of it. I know about.
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